Yes. I am writing a blog post about the Holy Grail of vegetarian eating: the ground beef substitute that is satisfactory enough to be called a "burger" and not "flavorless stick patty" or "interesting and tasty concept but wildly divergent from any experience I have ever had of beef". Of the two, I clearly prefer the latter, and have had some good vegetarian patties, both from small independent restaurants and from chains. Black beans appear to make a pretty dang good pattie for a burger, especially if they are seasoned well. However, in this case the alternative I am about to present to you will probably disappoint. I have not concocted any new spin on the bean pattie. I have not discovered some exotic plant compound that is exactly like ground beef yet contains no meat. What I actually discovered: mozzarella cheese makes a darn good burger. Call it a "burger" if it offends you to refer to what is basically a cheese sandwich as a true burger.
How did this happen?
I had the fixings for a burger, having had a serious meat craving after a particularly strenuous exercise class and subsequently went on a spontaneous grocery store run still in sweaty work-out clothes to purchase the necessaries for satisfying this craving. (FYI if you haven't eaten more than one or two helpings of meat a week for over six months, it's not a good idea to buy a pound package of ground turkey with the intention of destroying it in hamburger form. It will not go well for you! But I was way less sore than I have been after similar classes, so I may continue the tradition of protein-loading after the fact.) Returning to the subject, all the aforementioned meat was gone, while I still had a ton of hamburger buns and toppings. Enter the mozzarella cheese. It was tasty! And, more to the point, it tasted a lot like a real, actual burger. Maybe because of the secret fact that we all take for granted if we grow up eating meat: meat, in itself, does not have a lot of flavor. Don't get me wrong: it does have a flavor. It's just not usually a strong flavor (unless we're talking about goat or lamb). Mozzarella is a mild but toothsome cheese, especially when it is partially melted. It does not overwhelm the burger fixings, while still contributing something to the whole. And texture-wise, it does not lay down and become flaccid like most cheeses will when melted. It fights back. It has a bite! Yes. Like carrots in Bolognese sauce, it's actually a true and, if I may say so myself, a pretty good meat substitute. With that, I give you:
Mozzarella Cheese "Burgers"
Per burger:
1 bun
a couple of slices of tomato
1-2 lettuce leaves
some onion (if that's your thing)
and...about 4 ounces of mozzarella cheese, cut into long strips.
(All of the things you love on your favorite burger would also be fine: portabella mushrooms, onion rings, BBQ sauce, avocado, whatever it is you like. I just had the first four things.)
I don't know about the mechanics of grilling one of these. Here are the stove-top directions: get all your fixings ready (ie tomato, lettuce, etc.). Heat a small skillet over medium heat with just a dab of oil-- enough to brown the bun halves in. Once the oil is hot enough, put the bun halves in face down. While they're doing that, put your cheese slices on a plate and put them in the microwave. (This is crucial.) Microwave them for 10-15 seconds, or until they are just turning soft. That way, when you put them on the bun in the pan, they will finish getting melty but will not turn into actual gooiness. (Or, like mine did, get gooey in the microwave and require me to actually scrape my cheese off the plate and sculpt it onto the bun, with serious hang-over all around.) Flip your bun halves over to face up. Put the mozzarella slices on one half. Put the fixings on top. Put the top half of the bun on. Grill the whole thing in the pan for another minute or so, until the cheese gets melty. Enjoy.
How did this happen?
I had the fixings for a burger, having had a serious meat craving after a particularly strenuous exercise class and subsequently went on a spontaneous grocery store run still in sweaty work-out clothes to purchase the necessaries for satisfying this craving. (FYI if you haven't eaten more than one or two helpings of meat a week for over six months, it's not a good idea to buy a pound package of ground turkey with the intention of destroying it in hamburger form. It will not go well for you! But I was way less sore than I have been after similar classes, so I may continue the tradition of protein-loading after the fact.) Returning to the subject, all the aforementioned meat was gone, while I still had a ton of hamburger buns and toppings. Enter the mozzarella cheese. It was tasty! And, more to the point, it tasted a lot like a real, actual burger. Maybe because of the secret fact that we all take for granted if we grow up eating meat: meat, in itself, does not have a lot of flavor. Don't get me wrong: it does have a flavor. It's just not usually a strong flavor (unless we're talking about goat or lamb). Mozzarella is a mild but toothsome cheese, especially when it is partially melted. It does not overwhelm the burger fixings, while still contributing something to the whole. And texture-wise, it does not lay down and become flaccid like most cheeses will when melted. It fights back. It has a bite! Yes. Like carrots in Bolognese sauce, it's actually a true and, if I may say so myself, a pretty good meat substitute. With that, I give you:
Mozzarella Cheese "Burgers"
Per burger:
1 bun
a couple of slices of tomato
1-2 lettuce leaves
some onion (if that's your thing)
and...about 4 ounces of mozzarella cheese, cut into long strips.
(All of the things you love on your favorite burger would also be fine: portabella mushrooms, onion rings, BBQ sauce, avocado, whatever it is you like. I just had the first four things.)
I don't know about the mechanics of grilling one of these. Here are the stove-top directions: get all your fixings ready (ie tomato, lettuce, etc.). Heat a small skillet over medium heat with just a dab of oil-- enough to brown the bun halves in. Once the oil is hot enough, put the bun halves in face down. While they're doing that, put your cheese slices on a plate and put them in the microwave. (This is crucial.) Microwave them for 10-15 seconds, or until they are just turning soft. That way, when you put them on the bun in the pan, they will finish getting melty but will not turn into actual gooiness. (Or, like mine did, get gooey in the microwave and require me to actually scrape my cheese off the plate and sculpt it onto the bun, with serious hang-over all around.) Flip your bun halves over to face up. Put the mozzarella slices on one half. Put the fixings on top. Put the top half of the bun on. Grill the whole thing in the pan for another minute or so, until the cheese gets melty. Enjoy.
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